While scrolling through my facebook feed two years ago, I literally stopped in my tracks. I clicked on a link from an old classmate, Amy Drucker, and was saddened and surprised to hear that she had suffered a heart attack. Amy wrote a poignant open letter to “Mamas Who Do It All. (And What Mamas Don’t?)” I am sharing it with you in the hopes that you will take her words to heart (no pun intended).
Unfortunately, Amy’s experience is not unique. In fact, in the past few years, I have had several other friends experience heart attacks–the odds are that you do too. These have all been women, in their late 40s or early 50s, that do not fit the stereotypical profile for heart attack victims. Additionally, their symptoms were unlike the movie version of a “male heart attack” and much easier to explain away as something not serious or life-threatening. Amy, beautifully shares her story and offers a much needed wake up call for Moms everywhere–make yourself a priority!
An Open Letter to Mamas Who Do It All. (And What Mamas Don’t?)
I’m forty-eight years old. I’m not overweight and I don’t smoke or drink or have high blood pressure. If you don’t count a tall, strong cup of coffee every morning and a small dark piece of chocolate most evenings, my diet is pretty reasonable. I am by no means an athlete or fitness buff, but I live a fairly active lifestyle and consider myself pretty healthy.
At least, I did until last Tuesday when I had a heart attack.
Sitting on my couch, gearing up for the dinner/homework/bedtime marathon, both of my kids otherwise engaged (that’s Momspeak for “having screen time”) I suddenly had a terrible case of heartburn. I recognized the pain, but this was worse and somehow different. I had read articles about how the classic grab-your-chest-left-arm-pain you imagine when you think “heart attack” isn’t always the same for women. Yet, I ignored the fact that I was experiencing chest pain and made sure everyone was taken care of before finally giving in and laying down to rest. Because that’s what we, as mothers, tend to do, right? We push through. I mean, after pushing tiny humans out of your vagina, almost no pain is unbearable.
I sucked it up for more than twelve hours and the next day, after getting my youngest off to school, I drove myself to the hospital.
Just moments after the words “heart” and “attack” were spoken, the doctor sat at my bedside and asked me, with a straight face, if I had been under any extreme stress lately. I took a short break from trying to figure out the logistics of who was going to pick up my son from school and get him to his after school activity and shot the nice man a confused expression.
Really?
I have two children. And a job and a husband and an ex-husband and a mortgage and aging parents and in-laws and last week my older son totaled our only working car (he was fine), and oh yeah, a personal life. Who among us isn’t under extreme stress? Add in any illness or other out-of-the-ordinary occurrence and it all falls apart.
Your load is undoubtably different than mine, and I’m sure we all carry it in our own way, but damn if we don’t all carry it. Ask any mother what happens when it all gets too heavy (and it always does) and something’s got to give. The answer is always: us. We’re the ones that give.
Motherhood is a precarious balancing act. A state of being constantly underwater. We paddle continuously and with very little regard for how tired it makes us. Our kids are sick? We work from home while holding the bucket. No food in the fridge? On it. Business is slow this month? I’ll up my bookings. All while shouldering the burden of everyone else’s issues. Even if we do find time for ourselves, it’s not always enough to relieve the pressure.
I’m not here to tell you that you’re doing it wrong, Dear Mamas. Absolutely, the kids need dinner and the work needs doing, the bills need paying and that laundry sure as hell isn’t going to fold itself. Go ahead and do it all, but hear me when I tell you that you have to find a relief valve for yourself because it turns out that keeping everything together might be exactly the thing that undoes it all.
Amy Drucker
May 31, 2017
Thankfully, Amy is in good health now and is living a full life as a talented photographer, mom, wife, daughter, sister and friend. Hopefully her story and the information below, will inspire awareness about the often misunderstood signs and symptoms of heart attacks in women.
Additionally, moms of every age need a reminder to put ourselves on our own list of priorities (easier said than done!). Dr. Nieca Goldberg, M.D., medical director for the Joan H. Tisch Center for Women’s Health at NYU’s Langone Medical Center, explains that women often ignore the signs for several reasons including the fact that “they are scared and because they put their families first and there are still many women who are shocked that they could be having a heart attack.” Get informed, spread the word, and take action if needed.
What you need to know about women and heart attacks!
- Heart disease is the leading killer of women in the United States.
- Women may not experience crushing chest pain:
While 25 percent of women experience the well know symptom of crushing chest pain, 75 percent of women will not. “Two-thirds of men experience the typical Hollywood heart attack with chest pain, while only one-third of women do,” says Dr. C. Noel Bairey Merz, medical director of the Barbra Streisand Women’s Heart Center at Cedars-Sinai.
- Women may experience more subtle and less well known symptoms:
Women’s heart attack signs are usually less well known. Dr. Nieca Goldberg says, “Although men and women can experience chest pressure that feels like an elephant sitting across the chest, women can experience a heart attack without chest pressure. Instead they may experience shortness of breath, pressure or pain in the lower chest or upper abdomen, dizziness, lightheadedness or fainting, upper back pressure or extreme fatigue.” You do not need to experience all of the symptoms to be having a heart attack, even one is cause for concern.
- Women and physicians may attribute symptoms to something else:
Women and even physicians, often discount the subtle signs of a heart attack that a woman may be experiencing. Typically it gets attributed to the flu, acid reflux, or even normal aging. Do not assume you are short of breath because you are out of shape, or you are breaking out in a cold sweat because of a hot flash.
These subtle signs are equally as life-threatening as the more pronounced symptoms of a heart attack. Additionally, symptoms may disappear and then return so it is crucial not to minimize the need for help if that happens. Be assertive and do not feel embarrassed or shy to bring up the possibility that your symptoms may be coming from a heart attack.
- Get immediate medical attention:
Ignoring these symptoms can be extremely dangerous. “Delay in diagnosis and treatment of a heart attack can result in death,” says Dr. Bairey Merz. Call 911 immediately if you suspect you are experiencing any signs of a heart attack. According to the American Heart Association,”Learn the signs, but remember this: Even if you’re not sure it’s a heart attack, have it checked out. Minutes matter! Fast action can save lives — maybe your own. Don’t wait – call 911 or your emergency response number.”
- Take an aspirin after you call 911:
Do not take an aspirin instead of calling 911! Dr. Goldberg says that many women will only take the aspirin however she strongly cautions women to do both: “if they think about taking an aspirin for their heart attack, they should also call 9-1-1.”
Dr. Anthony Komaroff, M.D., Editor in Chief of the Harvard Health Letter, also recommends calling 911 and then taking an aspirin, “It may sound ridiculous that, in the face of a potentially life-threatening event, we’re advising you to “take an aspirin.” But it is well established that this step can keep an impending heart attack from occurring. Even if you take a baby aspirin every day to reduce your risk of heart attack, take another now! (This advice all assumes that you do not have an allergy to aspirin, and that your doctor has not advised you against using aspirin because, for example, you are at risk for bleeding.)”
Dr. Komaroff says that you should take, “a regular-strength (325-mg) aspirin pill that is not enteric-coated. Don’t swallow it; chew it, and then swallow it with a glass of water. Doing it that way gets the aspirin into your system rapidly, which is what you want. In an impending heart attack, a blood clot is forming in one of your heart’s arteries, blocking the blood supply to a part of your heart. Aspirin can help dissolve the clot before there’s permanent damage to the heart.”
Summary:
- Know the symptoms
- Do not ignore the symptoms
- Call for help immediately and take an aspirin
- Help spread the word
- Do not forget to see your doctor about your heart health
Infographic from the heartfoundation.org
Share this article on social media to help spread awareness!
Resources:
Check out Amy’s photography on Instagram @amydrucker or amydrucker.com
Medical Disclaimer: No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct medical advice from your doctor or other qualified clinician.
No one is exempt from having a heart attack. Not only because of the lifestyle we lead, but because we add other factors such as smoking, an unhealthy diet, obesity, lack of exercise, alcohol consumption, high blood pressure, diabetes …
It is very important to know the signals that your body gives you before suffering a heart attack, because it warns us, even if we do not pay attention to it.
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This is so important! have to share, thank you for sharing!
Love, Jess
I really like that you added an info graph on the signs of a heart attack. Thanks for the tips on that!
Thank you so much! Great article! very informative. I didn’t know that women’s heart attack is different than men’s.
Unfortunately, no one is protected from it and we never know, what is gonna happen tomorrow. It’s unfair that people that living a healthier lifestyle still get heart attacks.
Very Informative, Letter is very touching and reflects the life that most of us are living. Today’s life is full of stress, work pressure ,goals to reach with no proper focus on health , exercise and over all good living. Obesity is leading cause of major illness. I know what all Obesity can cause. Being a PCOS and Hypothyroidism fighter, I have struggled to come out of Obesity. Regular Exercise, eating and Living healthy, nature walks and hiking have helped me alot to come on the healthier side. One should pay attention to own health and body before its too late. This is so important Thanks for Sharing.
Heena.
Do Read my blog on https://travelandhikewithpcos.com/2019/02/11/weight-loss-tips-for-pcos-and-hypothyroidism/
Wow, every woman needs to read this, and be aware of the symptoms of a heart attack. Society has so conditioned us to think the classic Hollywood dramatic heart attack is reality. Sadly the real reality of a heart attack for most women and even some men is so different and so many individuals are unaware.
so glad you made this post. all women need to read this since this is really helpful and can be beneficial to them,
Wow! I didn’t know almost any of this information regarding the differences in how men and women experience heart attacks! Thank you so much for sharing.
Heart attack could be sometimes to treacherous, that’s why self-assessment and self-care are very important, especially to mothers who have barely time to even take care of themselves because of responsibilities. This letter should be read by all mothers and women.
Heart attack could be sometimes to treacherous, that’s why self-assessment and self-care are very important, especially to mothers who have barely time to even take care of themselves because of responsibilities. This letter should be read by all mothers and women. Thank you for sharing this post, it could be a wake-up call for everyone out there.
Such a great piece to share. Its important that we remember that anything can happen at anytime and we should never take anything for granted.
“While 25 percent of women experience the well know symptom of crushing chest pain, 75 percent of women will not.” Terrifying. So much of our medical testing is centred around men. I had no idea.
This is important information that all women should know.
Incredible! Wow, sometimes you just don’t stop and consider how busy and stressful life is, and how it may be affecting your health! More women need to be aware of this impending issue that could knock them down, even while they’re taking care of themselves. I am grateful for women like yourself and Amy to want to share these scary stories with women like me! I am mom of 4 kids, two of them have sensory and mental health issues that cause very demanding behavior management and I KNOW my life is under great stress. Top it off, I am getting older. I do exercise and eat healthy but is it enough. Maybe, but maybe not. Thanks for educating me! I needed this!
Holy cow, this makes so much sense but is also scary!! Such good information to know!
Wow this post has so much information! Thanks for sharing ♡
It is such a scary thing too, my sister was diagnosed by a doctor with the early stage of heart failure then got a second opinion and they did a plaque test to reveal no plaque build up and no heart failure at all, it was gerd. All along she had be living with the notion she was in heart failure by a misdiagnosis and no testing to back it up.
Wow! Her letter really hit home! We do carry it all! This is so informative. Great post!!!
So very important to know! Too many mamas don’t take time to think of themselves.
This is extremely important information on heart attacks in women, especially with the amount of stress we all carry. Some of these signs I had no idea about!
This is great information! Love your site
I’m still learning from you, as I’m improving myself. I absolutely enjoy reading everything that is written on your website.Keep the aarticles coming. I liked it!