How these Empty Nesters Became the Gypsy Nesters

David and Veronica James, aka the Gypsy Nesters, took the ultimate emptynestcation. Once their youngest child left for college, they sold everything, bought an RV on eBay, and made some long overdue visits to family. After a year of traveling across the United States, they decided to keep going. More than a decade later, they have visited all 50 states and 53 countries, run a successful travel blog, and published a best selling book about their adventures.

Veronica and James shared their story with Empty Nest Nation and we love their spirit of adventure! Read about how they got started and their triumphs and tribulations over the estimated 500,000 miles they have covered. While the gypsy nesters lifestyle might not be for everyone, you may enjoy living vicariously through them.  We certainly can all be inspired by their commitment and dedication to making the most out of the empty nest phase of life!

Ok, so how did you both decide to go on this epic adventure? Were you both on board, or did one of you need some convincing?

We have both loved to travel and see new places all of our lives, but of course traveling was not so easy with three kids. But we did manage to some, and felt it was important to expose children to new places. I have always traveled as a part of my work. Musicians have to go where the people are, they seldom come to us, so touring took me to 48 states and 23 countries before our kids were grown and out of the house. Once the nest emptied, Veronica was free to become a vagabond as well and took to it eagerly.

Initially what got us wandering around the U.S. was as a way to catch up with family. We had lived on the Caribbean island of St. Croix all through our children’s high school years, so it was hard to visit relatives and friends up in the states. When our youngest graduated, we figured a good way to reconnect with overdue visits was to get a motorhome and make our way across country. Once everyone was visited, we liked it so much we just kept going.

What did your kids think about this?

At first they were skeptical, as our son announced upon seeing the motorhome for the first time, “You’re going to live in your car?!?!” But it didn’t take long for them to embrace the idea. Our guess is that they saw it was working for us, that we were loving it – and that makes them happy. Better yet, it keeps the helicopter mommy at bay – she’s too busy to call every day asking dreaded questions like “when am I going to get graaaandkids.” What young adult wouldn’t appreciate that?
We have done our best to let go and let them make their own decisions, whether or not we agree with them. Learning from mistakes is a big part of becoming an adult. That’s not to say we haven’t offered advice, but we have learned – or at least are learning – to hold off until it is asked for. I think that traveling as we do has helped us to embrace that. We don’t feel the need to be involved in their day to day lives when we are gallivanting across the globe. A big revelation for us was the realization that while we will always be their parents, we don’t need to always be parenting.

It looks like you are both enjoying yourselves! What has been the biggest positives to come out of this lifestyle?

It has been fantastic for our relationship! Initially we were so busy working out all of the details that there was no time for moping around and lamenting our empty nest. The two big issues for us were making sure to focus on reestablishing our bonds as a couple, and reinventing our relationship with our children as they became adults. Mainly, we managed to rediscover those crazy kids that fell in love decades ago and allow them to fall in love all over again.

What have been the biggest challenges?

One of the biggest was our very different travel styles. David likes to go, go, go, see everything and then head off for the next adventure. Veronica is much more of a stop-and-smell-the-roses traveler. She likes to take her time, slow down and soak in the character of a place, get the feel of it. Those divergent styles collided in Yellowstone when fatigue, high-altitude lack of oxygen, and a close encounter with a herd of buffalo combined to spark a powder keg. Ultimately, we learned a valuable lesson in communication and compromise – and how to slowly and safely back away from a bison.

Would you recommend this lifestyle for others?

Not necessarily. Certainly everybody doesn’t need to take it to the extreme lengths that we have.  On the other hand, it has been extraordinary for us. It wasn’t something that we had thought out or planned beforehand, but we discovered that by trying and experiencing so many new things together we really reconnected as a couple. In our case, traveling worked as the vehicle for that revival, but we feel strongly that there are plenty of alternatives, whether it’s taking cooking or dance classes together, volunteering, or exploring the world, as long as it is new to both partners and the experiences are gained together and equally. This way, neither person is placed in a teacher – or expert – position and the new knowledge is shared and gleaned simultaneously.

How has this affected each of you individually and as a couple?

The learning process we were engaged in – exploring new landscapes, cultures, foods, languages, and customs – had brought us together in ways we’d never dreamed possible. It has also made us much more aware of the world as a whole. People all over the globe are actually quite similar. They have comparable dreams and ambitions; family and friends are important to everyone wherever they may live. In general, no matter where we have gone, most people are fundamentally good and kind, friendly and helpful.

Do you ever think you will go back to living in one place again?

We are slowing down a little bit. It looks like we will only do 4 or 5 big trips this year to 6 or 8 countries. Sounds like a lot, but compared to a few years ago when we were doing over a dozen a year and back in 2015 we did 19 countries it is slowing down. We just moved on to a boat, so getting that ready to take out on some new adventures is also big on out to-do list.

Tell us about how we can follow your adventures—and maybe live vicariously through you 🙂

The best place is our website, Gypsynester.com. We also have the usual suspects of social media Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

For those who want to dig into the whole story of how this offbeat journey came about, as well as have a good laugh, we have a book about the entire process called GOING GYPSY: One Couple’s Adventure from Empty Nest to No Nest at All.

Buy the book: