Why the “Emptynestcation” is the New Babymoon

Maybe you took a “babymoon” before it even had a cool name, but have not been away sans kids since.  Or maybe you never even heard of this trend at all.  Either way, the idea is that a couple plans a trip, usually in the second trimester, for one last hurrah without kids. Twenty years later it may be time to consider the newest trend in travel—an emptynestcation!   

The benefits of an emptynestcation and why you should plan one:

Once you have children, vacations change.  Don’t get me wrong traveling with kids can be a wonderful experience and a way to bond and build memories.  However, many parents return from these trips exhausted, needing a vacation from their vacation.  The planning, packing, and expense leaves many parents wondering if it is even worth it. 

Often travel with children is locked into school schedules, but now as an empty nester you are free to travel when school is in session.  This often means lower hotel rates and airfare.  Additionally, the destinations will not be overrun with children, allowing for some relaxation.  Let’s face it—not seeing other families will probably prevent you from missing your own children.  There is nothing like seeing a family with small children on vacation to make you start feeling nostalgic.  So plan your emptynestcation when school is in session—your wallet and your emotions will thank you.

The results of a survey conducted by British Airways showed that 46 percent of empty nesters experience some level of depression while 42 percent are excited about this new phase.  The beauty of an emptynestcation is that it can benefit both of these groups.  For those of you that are feeling down, planning a trip and experiencing new places can boost your mood and show you that although you miss your children, there are exciting adventures that await you.  Of course, for those of you that are excited about becoming empty nesters, travel opportunities are probably at the top of your list. 

According to psychiatrist and best selling author Dr. Gail Saltz, M.D., “Every individual reacts differently when faced with an empty nest for the first time depending on a number of personal factors. For some parents, this can be a difficult transitional period that results in feelings of sadness, while others feel energized by their newfound free time. In either case, an ‘emptynestcation’ can be a positive step toward adjusting, allowing empty nesters to focus their energy and creativity on planning a fulfilling vacation to commemorate the next chapter in their lives.”

Generation X accounts for many of the newly minted empty nesters, and have frequently been accused of being helicopter and snowplow parents.  This parenting style requires a tremendous amount of time and resources.  According to Dr. Saltz, “Today’s empty nesters have been parents that firmly put their kids first, more so than previous generations. As a result, many have denied themselves activities they may have liked because of lack of time and money. While recent empty nesters may have forgone romantic trips and site seeing in the past, now it’s something they can do guilt free and enjoy.”

Emptynestcations allow you to explore destinations that you may have passed up because they were not family friendly.  These may have included trips with long flights, hotels without chicken nuggets and pasta, or places that may have required special vaccines or medication.  Now you are free to consider most of the globe as your playground.  Take some time to remember your travel dreams that you have put on the back burner.  Make a time to sit down with your spouse and compare notes.  This can be a fun exercise to do together.  Don’t worry if your lists do not overlap, maybe you will discover someplace you never considered—or maybe you can even plan two emptynestcations!

Emptynestcation possibilities are truly endless.  First decide on the length of time.  This can range from a weekend getaway or a vacation that lasts several weeks.  Once you know how long your trip will be you can start planning. 

For a weekend getaway, choose something close by so you do not waste precious time on travel.  Try to limit the travel time to under a four hour flight or a four hour drive.  Make sure it is in the same time zone to reduce jet lag and only fly direct flights.  For example, if you live in New York you could consider a trip to a city such as Toronto, Chicago, Miami or Washington DC.  If you want a beach vacation consider resorts in Mexico like Cancun, Telum, or Mayakoba. Bermuda or Caribbean destinations such as The Bahamas, Cayman Islands, or Turks and Caocos can work for a quick trip as well.  If you live in Los Angeles, consider destinations like San Fransisco, San Diego, or Las Vegas.  Napa and Sonoma or Mexican resorts in Los Cabos are also ideal for weekend getaways.

If you have more time to travel then you might want to consider destinations such as Paris, London, Italy, Hawaii, Japan, a Safari, or even Australia.  You also might want to choose a trip you train together for like a bike tour, yoga retreat, hiking, or climbing a mountain.  Cruises are also a great choice for your emptynestcation.

Whatever you decide, the idea is to plan something together that will be meaningful to both of you.  It is a way to reconnect and get excited about the many adventures that lie ahead.  Planning the trip will give you something to look forward to when you are feeling down about your empty nest.  An emptonestcation is the perfect way to mark the beginning of the next phase of life and take a well deserved vacation.  Don’t forget to celebrate the incredible accomplishment of raising your children together.  Added bonus: it is not just your imagination—hotel sex can be great!  According to Ian Kerner, a licensed psychotherapist, sex therapist and author of She Comes First, science plays a role in this, “the novelty of the hotel room is going to stimulate dopamine transmission in the brain, which pays a big role in arousal and sexual excitement.”  Whatever the reason, enjoy!

Let us know what you think about emptynestcations in the comments below!  Where do you want to go?

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